i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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