And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
