you turned your livingroom into a bong?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
