i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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