how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
