Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
