ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
