you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
