I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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