dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
