I will die if light touches me.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
