explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
