When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
