I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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