What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
