i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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