Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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