WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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