in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
