There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
