you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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