you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
