Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
