the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
