dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
