she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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