yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
