During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
