And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
