also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
