Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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