i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
