He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
