Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
