My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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