butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize