I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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