We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
