I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My ATM looks so different sober.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i believe in u and ur pee
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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