love makes seman taste better
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
