Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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