They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
