So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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