Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
