just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
