true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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