i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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