he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
