physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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