I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
