I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
