I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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