I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sorry my hands just texted you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
