Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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