She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
