It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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