Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
