How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
