and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
