First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
