I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm always down for nudity.
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