I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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