I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
